Imagine making decisions from a place of clarity and not pressure. No hurry and no out-of-whack expectations from yourself or anyone else around you.
Believe me, it’s a difficult practice to find and maintain.
But, instead of the cloudy thoughts originating from a restless spirit and mind, peace of mind allows for more focus, with fewer distractions.
What kind of distractions?
I have shared on these before – things like guilt or shame; regret or jealousy; unresolved conflict or toxic relationships.
There are so many more. I think one reason why it is a challenge to make decisions and live life from a place of peace is because it’s not always conspicuous.
I have found peace of mind comes upon rather suddenly sometimes. Not loudly, but in a moment when I say to myself, “Oh, my mind is quiet right now. I feel more at ease to think about (fill in the blank).”
For me, it is most often as I am in prayer. I strongly believe in a personal God who quickly forgives me for my wrongs and wrongdoings. From there, I patiently wait for any more I might be made aware of and move on.
In addiction recovery circles there can also be an element of making amends with people hurt because of the addiction. This is beyond the inner peace we can find ourselves and on our own.
There are real consequences to consuming pornography, especially if you are married and even more especially if you have kids. How deep the healing needs to happen, how long it might take or how many people are involved depends on how deep the addiction or habit has gone and for how long.
Finding peace of mind isn’t impossible, and I would even argue can happen in an instant. There is of course work to be done.
The Other Side
What’s the other side of not having peace of mind?
The operative word I think of is “restlessness.”
The state of never feeling settled or at ease. Of course, this can take the form of not just a quiet restlessness to more toxic forms like hatred, always-on anger, and even rage.
The unsettled spirit needs to be addressed. And it will keep raising its head, saying “Hey! Look at me! Pay attention to me!” over and over again until it gets the attention it seeks.
There’s a reason why there is such a voice in the first place. That is part of addressing it. I would even say it’s best to address than to ignore.
For instance, I’ve learned as I let fear speak constantly to me, it has a voice with a volume it shouldn’t have. I have spent time wondering about the power of fear in me and how to address it. But some great advice I recently heard said don’t ignore fear. Acknowledge it and make sure it has its right place and serves a purpose. But that’s it.
The path to peace may not be easy, but it’s not out of reach. As I tell people, there’s progress. It’s not pass/fail.
There’s a real sense in which there is just enough peace to make it through to the very next step. And guess what? Beyond the next step is an added layer of peace to enable the step after that.
It’s both simple multifaceted at the same time. After all, we are not simple beings. You aren’t just a guy trying to quit pornography.
You are a man worth living with peace for yourself and those around you.
With blessing on the journey.
If you find it difficult to find peace because of so many choices, let's talk. Schedule your Restoration Session today and get started.